10 reasons Why I hate Cyclops

1) He has the blandest origin ever

Wolverine has a rather intriguing origin not simply because it remained hidden for so long but it overall shows the story of a man who has journeyed to many a place, lived over a 100 years and is the type of guy I would love to tell me stories over a bar, his powers manifested when he murdered a man with the stubs which would eventually become his claws.

Colossus is a story of a simple farming boy who has had a life and origin of tragedy and loss, his powers arose in his adolescence when he saved his sister from a runaway tractor.

Nightcrawler is a mutant whose obvious demonic features meant he had a life on the run but along the way joined a circus and gained amazing acrobatic skill.

Scott Summers origin, that I can honestly understand from reading comics involving these key moments: his parents got killed by aliens and Sinister "put in inhibitors" to stop him using his powers against him several years later. I know that many will think his is cool but seriously, the great stories are to do with tragedies which are believable. The great X men origins are those that involve there powers doing damage to others and the powers causing them to come across as freaks. Oh but let’s get onto the origins of his powers;

2) His powers were caused by brain damage

Yep, when his parents got captured by aliens, he jumped out of a plane, brother in arms and got brain damage that forever altered his powers, turning them into the "optic blasts" we associate with today.

3) His brother has a more interesting comic life
Havok is BADASS. For a period of time, Havok took the name mutant x when he got sent to another world many people were there but were twisted versions. Iceman who couldn't touch everyone, Storm was a vampire, heck the list goes on of interesting things to do with his journey as Mutant X. He came back and went on to lead the star jammers to get Lilandra back on the throne and overthrow Vulcan, the now Shiar Emperor, which leads me onto the fact that:

4) His Other brother is more interesting

Cyclops can shoot optic blasts.

Havok can shoot plasma blasts.

Vulcan can absorb, manipulate, transform and project energy. In addition to this, he can fly, project a force field and has psionic resistance.

Vulcan's story is an interesting one, sowed subtly into the X men timeline. Basically, he's the youngest Summer's brother, cut out of the womb of Kath Summers when D'ken murdered her. Following this, he was speed grown using Shiar Tech to adolescence to be used as a slave. He escaped and actually joined the x men team in training in time before getting absolutely annihilated by the island Krakoa. He was left for dead on the island floating in space. Now THIS is a very good reason to moan but he doesn't. You know who has no reason to moan? Scott Summers, that's who.

5) He's a whiny little Bitch

I want you (if you haven't read the comics I’m talking about) to visualise Scott Summers trapped on an island with a woman called Lee Forrester, a perky young women who was the captain of the boat with Cyclops on that crashed:

Lee Forrester: Oh my god, we crashed on a beautiful tropical island!!!

Cyclops: I MUH-MUH-MUH-MISS JEAN!!!

Lee Forrester: I’m sorry, I know you miss her but look, your powers that have been your curse, have now gone!!!

Cyclops: BUH-BUH-BUH-BUT I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT J-J-J-J-JEAN!!!

Lee Forrester: I am SO hot for you right now.

Cyclops then goes onto make out with her a lot and whine about Jean some more.

Need I continue with this list?

6) He's an adulterous wankshaft

Now you remember all that stuff about Cyclops whining about missing Jean? Well that came to an end when he actually found another woman.

Whom he married.

And he had a kid with.

WHO LOOKED THE EXACT FUCKING SAME AS JEAN.

Now I know that grief can make a man crazy but this woman looked exactly like Jean. Why you ask, because she was a clone. I am not going into the soap opera that that "clone time" was, I simply ask you this, you love someone, it hurts and you meet an exact replica, and you know that as a hero, villains love to screw with you, would you do go for it?

Anyway I digress, as you all know Jean came back and what does Cyclops do? Dump her and the kid’s ass to go back to Jean. Yeah there's a bit of awkwardness but his wife conveniently dies and gets to live with Jean and Cable never hears about his mother ever again. Fucking dickshit.

BUT IT DOESN'T END THERE.

Years later during the Grant Morrison run, he has a psychic affair with Emma Frost. Soon after it is revealed, Jean dies and guess what? No whining and what would Scott Summers whine about Jean when he now has a girl with, how can I say this, "larger assets".

7) He's a whiny little Bitch

It's visualisation time again. Now, it's deep space, the whole team of our loved X men (and that twatacular whiner) have a terrible realisation;

Storm: Oh god we have a brood egg inside each of us!!! what are we going to do?!?!

Cyclops: JUH-JUH-JEAN!!!

Storm: If these eggs, we'll die, our bodies will be consumed, all of us becoming like the broo...

Cyclops: I can't live without JEAN (emo pose) at least I will be with.... Her.

Storm: Dude shut the fuck up. Seriously

Unfortunately, he survived. Little wanker.

8) The best part of the x men movie trilogy was his whiny bitch ass in the first 5 minutes in the 3rd film

Think about it...

Logan: Where are you going Scott?

Scott: WHAT DO YOU CARE?!?! SHE'S DEAD!!! IM NOTHING WITHOUT HER!!! WEE-OOOH-WEEE

Logan: Look we all loved her but we have to get through this togeth...

Scott: GOD WHAT DO YOU CARE?!?!? MY LIFE IS SOOOO HARD!!!! YOU DON'T KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO BE ME!!! I'M GOING TO DRIVE OFF ON MY MOTOCYCLE AND BE MOODY!!!

Logan: Listen you little bit...

(Logan is interrupted by Xavier’s voice in his head)

Prof. X: Logan, leave it, he's going to die in 5 minutes anyway.

Best movie of the trilogy for that single reason.

9) The great x men sacrifice themselves for the cause in many a great, heroic way and yet white boy whiny bitch Summers is STILL FUCKING ALIVE

10) Storm was a better leader

Ororo Munroe became the leader of the x men somewhere during the early 80s and has had it hard as a leader. She was the leader of the X men and the morlocks at one time and was also a leader during a time when she lost her powers. She has died in space, been close to being seduced to becoming a vampire and was with the team when they were willing to sacrifice themselves to save the world.

Scott Summers is a whiny Bitch, which is all I have to say. In a contest of who has had the hardest leadership. Storm wins.